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Funny search strings (Part 1)

My site gets quite a few referrals from Google. Most of the search strings are pretty normal, but every so often one is thrown up that's pretty bizarre. Here's a selection of the weirdest/funniest. My comments are under each string. Part 2 is here Part 3 is here

"strange thing on top of swedish car"
What sort of thing might that be then? And how did it get there anyway?

"childrens cheap alarm clocks"
You cheap sod. Buy them a proper one.

"yahoo is a very shit website"
Is it? I never said that on my site.

"when did mcdonalds first came to india"
Dunno. Didn't see any. Cows are sacred there, so that's the Big Mac out.

"how to lay drive way concret"
I have no idea why my site is being asked.

"picture of fermented pickled cabbage"
Urrgh!

"facts about hong kong's rubbish for children"
They make it specially.

"pictures of meals in australia"
Australian meals? or any old meal, just has to be in Oz?

"severe caning"
Perv

"satan666/ photos"
Eh? This turned up twice, in different months. No Satan pics on my site.

"how do you build a unpaved driveway or road"
Bloody driveway people again, what is it with them?

"litele girls"
Don't you mean "little girls"? Perv.

"how many cows in india"
Who on earth knows the answer to that. Not even Google I suspect.

"\me on the toilet\"
Someone is searcing for pictures of themselves on the toilet? Do they think others will have them? Why don't they have pictures themselves?

"pictures of roads you drive"
Eh?

"i want to live in australia"
Great. So do I.

"sea food crap"
By the time it's on the plate, it's hopefully dead. It can't crap any more. Even if it did, do you really want to eat it?

"are there heat in apartments in hong kong"
Nope. They're all frozen.

"batman gargoyles on chrysler building"
They're bonnet/hood ornaments actually.

"overweight people on surfboards"
Why?

"pictures of ugly headphones"
Again, why?

"find some pictures of car park barriers"
What for? Bit of a spotter are you?

"electrode or lofty or blanker or nebular or brady"
Make your mind up please.

"small little crapper website"
WTF?

"ian duffield -revd -racism -australian -africa -edinburgh -lect"
...

"most attractive website in the world"
And Google brought them to mfhughes.com. Shucks.

"swedish cars won't start"
Must be damn cold where you live then.

"little pictures of what australia looks like on the outside"
I'd be more interested in the inside :)

"pickled things"
Things. Thats very specific. You must really know what you want.

"does captain cook opera house mean"
Does it mean what?

"athlete's foot chinese drag"
Non sequiter.

"toilet bowl most expensive hong kong"
Looking for somewhere to have an expensive dump?

"the most expensive toilet bowl"
This was in a different month to the above.

"most expensive home toilet"
I'm beginning to see a gap in the market here.

"politicians in knee socks"
For the love of god, why?

"really funny overweight children pictures"
Just because my site is a .com doesn't mean it's American

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